How We Came To Be
by Casteline
Summary: Harry and Snape reach an understanding. Post OotP; past Sirius/Severus slash.


_Just a little something I came up with in class the other day. Ended up being a lot longer than I expected._

_I expect that things are a bit OOC, and there are probably a few spelling/grammar errors I missed. I've had very little sleep of late, and I probably won't even remember posting this._

_Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

**How We Came To Be**

Harry was furious. He was always furious these days, and he knew, at times, that he was being incredibly unfair to his friends. He didn't care. They had no idea what he was feeling. They could never understand. They all had families, had had all their lives. But Harry had never had a family. Only Sirius, only for two years. Two years, and now he was gone. They could never understand. Never.

"Back off, Malfoy," he hissed, drawing his wand. Malfoy was, once again, doing his very best to set Harry's nerves on fire.

"Dueling in the corridors?" Snape's voice interrupted, before their duel could even begin. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

Malfoy sneered. Harry didn't bother to protest. He knew, all too well, that it would get him nowhere. Even if there had been witnesses, which there weren't, Snape would never believe that it was Malfoy had started the spat, and even if he did, he would never, not in a million years, side with Harry.

"Go on back to your common room, Draco," Snape instructed. "While I have a little _chat_ with Mr. Potter."

Malfoy was all too pleased to obey.

"You're angry," Snape said when he was sure Malfoy was out of earshot. Unless Harry was mistaken… he couldn't' possibly have heard a hint of _understanding_ in the professor's voice. "But that filthy mutt is dead-"

"HOW DARE YOU?" Harry shouted, not caring what the consequences would be. "How _dare_ you mention him to me?"

"You are not the only one who has lost something," he hissed, grasping Harry's shoulder painfully hard. "You are not the only one who cares."

The next moment, he was walking away, his cloak billowing. Harry watched after him in shock, unable to move.

"You would do well to suppress your anger," Snape added in a warning tone.

Harry gaped. What had just happened?

(How We Came To Be)

"You guys go on without me," Harry told Ron and Hermione as they made to leave the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom after a double period with the Slytherins.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Hermione asked in a worried tone. Snape had been, as usual, ruthless toward the Gryffindors and, as usually, particularly spiteful at Harry. Harry, in turn, had been stubborn such that he had lost 15 house points.

"Harry, it's not worth it," Ron said, shaking his head.

Harry shook his head. "It's not about the lesson."

"Harry, please don't do or say anything stupid," Hermione practically begged.

"I'll try," he said, knowing full well that it was virtually impossible to not aggravate Snape.

The pair of them smiled at him worriedly, but left the classroom without him.

"Professor," Harry started, approaching the desk where Snape sat.

"What?" he replied coldly, not looking up from the papers he was grading.

"I was wondering if I might… ask you something, sir."

Snape looked up at him with an almost curious look in his eyes. "As I have yet been unable to stop you from doing anything thus far, I suppose you may."

"Sir, the other evening… you implied that you had… lost someone. In the war."

"That is none of your business, Potter," Snape snapped. "The past is best left in the past."

"You also implied, sir," he continued, ignoring his professor's outrage. "That you cared… about Sirius. You almost sounded… sorry, for what happened to him."

"Get. Out. Potter."

"With all due respect, sir," he said, and found it curious that he actually meant it slightly. "But _no_."

"Excuse me?"

"No, sir," he said simply.

"Leave my class now, Mr. Potter, or I will have you removed forcibly."

"Please, sir," Harry said. "Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll leave. Tell me I've completely misread this, and I'll never mention the conversation again. But… please."

Snape's stone cold eyes softened in the slightest. "You. Are. Not. Wrong. Now _leave_."

Harry did not want to leave. He wanted to understand. He needed to. But he knew that pushing the former Potions Master would serve no purpose but to lose him more house points, he turned away and made for the exit.

Something made him stop.

"You loved him," he stated, turning back momentarily. "Didn't you?"

Harry didn't wait for an answer, he never expected one. He was, therefore, shocked when he received one.

"Very much so."

Harry let out a small gasp. He turned back. He knew he should just keep his mouth shut, be happy with the small answers he now had. But it wasn't enough.

"What happened, sir?"

Harry had no idea why Snape chose to answer him, and it was very likely that Snape didn't know either. But he did.

"The past is best left in the past," he repeated. This wasn't good enough for Harry, who now sat in the seat across from the professor.

"The memory I saw, in the pensive," Harry began, suddenly feeling the need to explain something. "I'd never been more ashamed of my family."

"I don't need your pity," Snape hissed.

"I didn't pity you," Harry replied, equally furious. "I _understood _you."

"You have no idea-"

"No, you have no idea! For five years, you've had this notion that I was a spoiled brat, like my father was, like Sirius was. I wasn't. I was just like you. You were teased and tormented by them. My cousin, Dudley, used me as his own personal punching bag for ten years. For ten years, I didn't have a single friend, because I was his freak cousin. If anyone even thought about befriending me, he would turn on them. No one wanted to get on his bad side. I didn't have a single friend, I didn't own anything, until I came here. And you've treated me like dirt from day one. All because you thought I would be just like them. But I'm not like them."

"You are," Snape said after a long period of silence. "You are just like him. Sirius."

It was the first time Harry had heard Snape refer to his godfather by his first name, it was always _Black_ or _that mutt_, never just _Sirius_, and never in a way that sounded so… sad.

"The pair of them… for years they tortured me. They hated me, and I hated them. But… but it wasn't that simple. I hated him so much, but… but I loved him. Fifth year…" Harry detected a hint of a smile at the memory as it resurfaced. "Turned out… he liked me to. I thought… Your father, of course, was livid when he found out. They fought for weeks. Your mother and Lupin tried to play mediator, and I stayed out of the way. I knew that is was only a matter of time before he got sick of it all and chose your father over me."

"But he didn't?" Harry asked.

Snape shook his head. There was still that small hint of a smile that Harry had half convinced himself was a hallucination.

"I don't know what he said or did, but they stopped fighting. Your father was still angry, but he never said anything."

"What happened then?" Harry asked. He couldn't understand how things could have reached the level of hatred they had. He had once thought there could be no greater hatred than between he and Malfoy, but when Sirius and Snape had fought… How had that happened?

Snape looked angry once more. He rose from his chair sharply, and turned to look out the window at the grounds. He could not look at Harry.

"It meant nothing," he hissed quietly. "Black could have had any girl in the school he wanted. And he did. Frequently."

"He didn't-" Harry started in disbelief.

"I assure you, he did."

Harry didn't know what to say.

"For a long time, he was the only thing keeping me from joining the Death Eaters along with my classmates. I'm sure you must know I have always been attracted to the Dark Arts. But I never wanted things to end up like they did. All I wanted was to make him angry, like he'd made me. So I joined _Him_. I soon regretted my decision, but never as much as I did after _that_ night. The night your parents were killed."

He was quiet for a while, but Harry sat patiently, waiting, still amazed by all he was hearing, and amazed that Snape was telling him. He wondered briefly if he was going to be obliviated at the end of the conversation.

"It was I," Snape said. "Who told the Dark Lord of the Prophecy. I didn't know, at the time, what it meant. Lily had been my best friend, my only friend. And as much as I hated him, I did not wish that fate even on James Potter. Or you. I went to Dumbledore. I told him what happened. I don't know if he believed me, believed that I had reformed, but he agreed to protect the three of you, and I agreed to come work for him, to feed him information on the Dark Lord. It was a long time before he really started to trust me. His protection wasn't enough. It was almost laughable; that I had come back to save them, and that Black had switched sides to have them killed."

"But he didn't," Harry said, though they both knew. "I can understand," he said a few moments later. "Why you would hate him, after what he'd done. But… what I don't get, is why _he_ would hate _you_."

"Why _wouldn't_ he?"

(How We Came To Be)

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall called at the end of class. Harry waved Ron and Hermione on without him.

"Yes, Professor?"

"If I am not mistaken, you have Defense Against the Dark Arts next."

"Yes, Professor."

"And I understand you've been… _friendly_ with Professor Snape as of late."

"I don't know if I would say friendly," Harry replied, wondering where exactly she had received this information from, as he hadn't told anyone about his conversation with Snape, and he doubted Snape had said a word either.

"Perhaps civil then," she offered. Harry accepted this halfheartedly. McGonagall pulled an envelope out of her desk. "The Headmaster has some of the Order working on cleaning out the old Headquarters," she said. "This was found in the study." She handed him the envelope. Harry saw the envelope was addressed to _Severus Snape_ in Sirius' tidy handwriting. "I thought you might deliver it for me."

"Of course," he nodded and departed toward the door.

"And Mr. Potter," she added. "I trust you will not make a big deal out of this."

(How We Came To Be)

When Harry, Ron, and Hermione, as well as their classmates from all four houses, entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom a week later, they found that all the tables and chairs had been removed, leaving a large empty space on the floor, adequate for, perhaps, dueling.

"I wonder what we're doing," Ron pondered aloud. Harry shrugged.

"Today we will be practicing Patronus charms," Snape answered the question on everyone's mind. Harry grinned, and noticed that many of his classmates were equally pleased. This would be one (of many) occasions in which Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff would collectively surpass Slytherin, and even Snape would not be able to deny it. Harry knew for a fact that at least nine of his classmates had successfully mastered a fully corporeal Patronuses last year; granted, it was not in the presence of a Dementor, but he highly doubted that Snape would have gotten permission to allow one into the school, given Dumbledore's hatred toward them.

"Potter," Snape said. "And example, please."

Harry drew his wand and brought the happiest memories of his parents and Sirius to his mind. "Expecto Patronum," he said simply. A glowing white stag erupted from the end of his wand. It pranced around the room for a moment before dissolving.

"Very good, Potter."

Everyone, including Harry, was shocked by this statement. For a moment, everyone looked from the professor, to Harry, then back at Snape, wondering if Snape had just _complemented _him, or if they were having a massive, joint hallucination.

"It is not quite as easy as Potter makes it seem," he continued, ignoring their expressions of shock. "Most wizards cannot produce a Patronus of any kind, let alone a corporeal one. But Dumbledore believes that it is something everyone should at least attempt, now that Voldemort has won over the dementors." He explained the basics behind casting the spell, then called for volunteers. Most of the class raised their hand, though he ignored all but Malfoy.

"Expectro Patronim," Malfoy said with a slight flourish of his wand. He produced only faint wisps.

"Good start, Mr. Malfoy. Two points to Slytherin."

Ron rolled his eyes and leaned closer to Harry. "He gives him points for nothing, but half the class will have a fully fledged Patronus and we'll get nothing." Harry nodded in agreement.

"Anyone else?" Snape asked, searching once again for volunteers. He sneered. Neville was raising his hand. "Very well, Mr. Longbottom. Let us see how you manage to ruin this."

Neville took a deep breath and stepped forward. "Ex-expectro Patronum," he said with a slight stutter.

Harry, and all the members of the former DA were smiling as a lion poured out of the end of Neville's wand. Many of them even dared to let out a laugh at the shocked look on Snape's face.

"Well, Mr. Longbottom," he said, when the shock had worn off. "I must say, I'm impressed. Five points to Gryffindor."

The sixth year Gryffindors all looked at one another wearing matching expressions of astonishment.

"Who's next?"

Harry watched, smiling, as no less than 15 of his classmates produced at corporeal Patronus, most of the others were able to form wisps. Meanwhile, all but two Slytherins failed to produce anything. Everyone who accomplished something received house points.

"You think someone put him under the imperius curse?" Ron asked at dinner that evening.

"Did you see the look on McGonagall's face when she saw the hourglasses?" Dean Thomas added.

"Where _did_ all those points come from?" Ginny questioned the sixth years as she sat down to join them.

"_Snape_," Neville replied.

Ginny spat pumpkin juice all over Ron. "Excuse me?"

Harry and the others nodded.

"That is so bizarre," she said. "Though, now you mention it, he was being oddly civil towards us yesterday. What's gotten into him?"

(How We Came To Be)

"What did he say to you?" Harry called after Snape when they'd run into each other in an empty corridor. Snape didn't turn back. "Sirius," Harry added. "In that letter he sent you. He said something. Something that's completely changed your attitude-"

"My attitude?" Snape hissed, with little malice. "I'm not the one who has an attitude problem."

Harry dared. "Yeah, you are. I'm not denying that I have one too, because I know I do. But I'm not the only one."

Snape ignored him and turned to continue his journey back to his office.

Maybe, just maybe, Harry thought to himself, this year would be different.

"Five points from Gryffindor for smarting off," Snape called over his shoulder. "And another five for being in the corridors after hours."

Of course, everything could just as easily be the same.


End file.
